The Drama with Loving Money but Hating Capitalism
Editorial photo by Victor Skrebneski for Family Circle, December 1975
Wealth: it’s complicated.
You know the feeling when you are leisurely waking up, stretching out on your million-thread-count sheets, as your butler is bringing your extra-hot oat milk latte right to your bedside, while you wonder, "what should I do today with my abundance of time and an unlimited expense account?" Lol, me neither.
Buuuut I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be down to ever give that lifestyle a whirl. It's gotta be nice having everything you could ever want without a care in the world...right?
Come on bb, snap out of it. You know that person has just as many issues as you do, they are just different and probably are covered in gold and diamonds.
In all honesty, though, I really do like nice things. I enjoy shopping and I like wearing fancy stuff. I love to envision Future Mad enjoying lounging glamorously on a sofa, casually wearing an exorbitant amount of vintage jewelry, and drinking champagne. I read Vogue, routinely check out the sale section on the Net-a-Porter site, apply copious amounts of skincare every night before bed, enjoy the occasional $20 cocktail (you know, when someone else is buying), and... I also wanna abolish capitalism. Let's pause for a second, this is a lot to digest. I don't know about you, but I need to take a deep breath.
Is there a way to balance loving money but hating capitalism? Yeah, probably. Do I know what that looks like? No way, man. Nobody has all the answers (and if they do, it’s a cult—run). But! What I do know is that in order to live a fulfilling life we need to practice gratitude. We need to understand our relationship to money and all its baggage: fear, worthiness, scarcity, the “right way” to use it, etc. We know that all the money (and shoes, and Chanel bags, and art, and luxury vacations, and diamonds) in the world won’t make us happy.
So how can we work on our relationship to abundance and wealth without being a horrendous person? Is money evil? How does privilege play a role in our relationship to money? Can we want to be rich and want to overthrow capitalism at the same time? How can I make a difference if I’m caught in this love-hate relationship?! Je suis confused.
As multi-faceted humans, we're obsessed with contradictory ideas; it's part of our existence. No one is perfect. You don’t have to live in a cottage, sing to birds, bake bread for the whole village, have no materialistic tendencies, cure the sick, never use money, and be a hero all the time in order to not be a trash human. (I mean, you can do all that. You do you, bb! Please document it so I can live vicariously through you and your angel ways?) But really, how can the majority of us, as mere mortals, find a balance here? Drumroll, please...
Self-work and reflection.
Quelle surprise! I bet you never saw that one coming.
Getting comfortable in our relationship with money, wealth, scarcity, and abundance isn't a one-and-done thing. In fact, it will probably be a cyclical life-long learning adventure. Before the overwhelm and hyperventilation kick in, let's break it down into baby steps. As James Clear reiterates in his book Atomic Habits (read it, trust me) the goal is this: what can you do today to just be 1% better than yesterday? Let’s dive in together.
Here are some ideas to get the conversation started:
What's your relationship with money? How does that word make you feel?
How do you feel about people who have a ton of money? What about people who don't have a lot of money?
What is your money trauma? How does your family's view on money effect your own?
What does wealth look like to you? How does your privilege or class impact your views on wealth?
What's your money auto-response? Do you avoid thinking about it? Are you obsessed with it? Is it causing you great stress?
Do you think that a certain amount of money will finally solve your problems and bring happiness? Do you wish that were true? Why?
Finding a spot in between wanting to have wealth and rejecting a system that benefits the few by oppressing the many is daunting, to say the least. Thankfully, the internet is full of resources. Here at The Charmed, we're going to be spending some time diving deeper into money magic and how we feel about it all (our favorite). Join us on social to participate in the conversation, and take a peek through past posts to read more about what we have to say on the topic. Stay tuned for more on abundance, and let us know if you have any particular content requests that you'd like us to focus on for our homework.